There’s something about shopping that just puts me in a crappy mood. It’s not the lines of people or the endless waiting to turn left on Maize… no, it’s more the realization that I am spending all my vacation time buying trying to buy presents for people, as if that is what Christmas is all about. Is it? That certainly is the focus of my Christmas this year. And it’s about half-self-directed, and half motivated by others. I feel the desire to please people. That’s the storyline behind the Best Buy “Wow” commercials, right? You want to buy something that will make the other person happy. Because if they smile and say “Wow!” then that means I did the right thing, got the right present, that I am a valuable person. And I recognize the futility of having my self-worth being determined by how someone else responds to a gift. My part of the gift is done when I hand it over to them. But why even give things? I heard a statistic tonight that Americans spent six billion dollars buying things the Friday after Thanksgiving. Surely some of that was not gifts for others, unless you could a gift for yourself. But imagine that – we, the collective we, spent six billion dollars buying things for each other that we really don’t need – just so we would feel good about ourselves. Here’s a thought – why don’t we take that six billion dollars and buy clean water or adequate sanitation for India or Africa and feel good about that? We are so clueless when it comes to our consumption. I walk up and down the aisles at Wal-Mart and constantly think, who needs all this crap? Who wants it? Companies make it, so we buy it, give it to each other, and then after a week it breaks and we throw it out. Or it sits at the bottom of the toy bin just taking up space.
I’m tired of it. I’m at a point where I don’t think I need anything. And yet I’m going to get gifts this year. So are my boys. They don’t need any of the 20 different toys or games that they’re going to get. So why do we still buy into the system? Because we’re conditioned to consume and to want more. It’s the conspiracy of capitalism. If we stop buying the whole thing falls apart.
It may be too late this year, but I’m definitely going to change things next year. I wonder what that would be like, not for my boys, but for others in the family. I wonder what would happen if I showed up at the family Christmas and said to my sister, “I didn’t buy useless presents for you and your children this year… instead, I bought a goat for a third-world family. Here’s a picture that you can put on your fridge.” It’s a compelling thought.
Okay, to start off I already know this post I comment on is two years old so please, no need to rag on me about it. But I am really, REALLY relating to what you’re saying here in 2008. I’m already bracing myself for the crappy mood this “season of giving” (shopping, buying, trying to be “fair” in the allocation, wanting to wow) And it’s not just the money spent to “wow” your family that seems to be a big waste. Just think if all the time and energy spend worrying about and shopping for the gifts were used to do something together as a family. Gosh, we could probably make enough cookies (and have a blast doing it together) to give away to everybody within a three block radius. Or what if we just played games every weekend rather than faced the masses out there trying to get the best deal in an item? Don’t you think the kids would remember having fun family times over getting whatever this year’s gadget might be? Is it possible to simplify Christmas again and bring it back from using Christmas as just an excuse to consume? You know, perhaps the current economic situation could just be a gift from God after all to help do just that.
Hi DayVee, it’s interesting how this post still resonates two years later. I think we will have a more scaled-back Christmas this year, thanks to the economic times. I hope parents use this as a time to help their kids understand that Christmas isn’t all about getting, but about giving as well.
Thanks for your comments!